Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
