why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
