You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
