His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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