I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
