Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
