You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
