Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
She said her name was "party"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
