i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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