On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
