legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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