Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
