Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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