I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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