Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
