no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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