I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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