Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
