sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
