Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
