I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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