You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
