she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
