Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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