Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
