you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
