K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
