can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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