i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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