I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
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