I will die if light touches me.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize