My hand turned me down
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
