what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
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