those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
