Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
