So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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