DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
