yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Randomize
