rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
