We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He? As in you personified your dick?
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
