I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
