i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
