It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I can feel your judgement through the phone
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
