it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
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