that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
