literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
