Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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