i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
