I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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