Little spoons don't ask big questions
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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