Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
