Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
