I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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