I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
