it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
