Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
