is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
