im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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